I’ve always struggled with my self-esteem; more than other people. I was bullied quite frequently in elementary which made me feel like I was never good enough. “Why was I bullied?” I would ask myself, and nothing else made sense but “it’s because you’re not worthy of NOT being bullied.” Many days I would wake up (up until grade 9) and protest going to school because I thought I looked ugly. I would cry and cry and cry and think “why can’t you just be pretty?” I always wished I could be pretty and I thought about how easier life would be if I was. The mirror was my enemy. An ugly face continuously staring back at me, tormenting me as if it was screaming “what you think of yourself is what everyone else thinks too.” If my hair didn’t look “decent” (since I never felt it looked good) I would break down and cry. A normal person wouldn’t cry over hair…but I did. It was an endless battle with myself which I thought I’d never win. It’s so hard for people to understand the pain I was in, the pain I was causing myself. No one understands the destruction you are causing yourself except you. I never wanted to feel this way about myself, but I did, and I felt like I would never escape those feelings. Over the past couple of years I have made LEAPS and BOUNDS with my self-esteem. It’s not that I think “DAMN I’M SO FREAKING GORGEOUS.” because that will never happen, but I have not cried over my looks for a long time. Yeah sometimes I break down about my looks like before, but having low self-esteem is like an addiction…you aren’t addicted to feeling badly about yourself, but it’s like a monster is always trying to tear you down.  The strength I need to keep myself feeling good or even just alright is a strength you’ll never understand (OR maybe you do..). It’s definitely not easy. All I can say is that yeah, I still walk the hallways with my eyes down so no one can see me in fear that they will think to themselves “OOOH that girl’s ugly.” but those days when I think “oh you look pretty today.” lets me know I’m doing alright, and I know you will be too. I fight everyday, and most people don’t even know I’m fighting and sometimes that’s hard. BUT it’s all worthwhile to fight. You are ALL beautiful because WHO THE **** has the right to tell you otherwise. Thank you <3